Wednesday, April 12, 2006

An Open Letter to ABC Television

Update!!! Sign the petition HERE!!!
I never do things like this. I especially love Creator Fred Goss at #3 with the comment "This is the best show I've ever made." Sign up your whole family!

Regarding the Wonderfully Funny Show You Are About to Axe:
"Sons & Daughters" (HERE)

(Check why this show is insane at

I hate getting involved with new television shows, because anything worth watching needs time to build an audience. Otherwise we could all just watch a giant breast move back and forth across the screen. (the movement would be the plot device) Of course watching "Sons & Daughters," was easy, no one could watch this show for more than five seconds without nestling their fleshy cheeks in for a siesta in front of the Tube. (That was awkward, I meant that it was a funny show. Sorry.) This show didn't need my support, it was gonna be a ratings snowball, rolling at a faster, faster, faster pace, reaching breakneck speeds towards...a Comedy Home Run, Goal? (something like that)

Sadly, apparently they put the show on during the that ill-fated month of March, which is filled with "Free Money, Sex and Drugs Tuesdays" at Walmart, which I think lasts until at least 10PM. The moral of the story? ABC, please let this show grow, don't give up on it just because people would rather go to Walmart and get coked up while having sex with the door greeter than watch it. You just need to put it on a safe night for a few weeks. Hold on, let me check the Wallmart schedule.... Okay, how about Wednesday at 8 or 8:30? Walmart only has a Chiwawa giveaway that night. (Chiwawa = Comedy) Bump Freddie "Chico and the Man Jr." off for a few weeks, 12 year old girls should be doing their homework anyway not thinking impure thoughts about the man who gives hope to Keanu Reeves!! Put it on then and I guarantee, instant "Seinfeld"-like longevity. You young ABC producers will be swimming in Champagne and really expensive other liquid, that you would like and want, but can't have now, because even as a big TV guy, it's expensive for that much of that stuff! (Come On, It's Imported!)

Seriously, much love to the whole show! Shout out to the cool, talky neurotic, wrote himself in as the lead producer actor guy, His weird artsy son, ethical dumb nephew, talky niece with braces, hot wife, the super passive aggressive mom, karmically challenged (most likely a goth as a teenager) sister, singing hottie loserbait sister, incredibly dense thespian brother-in-law, cute kids who will grow three years each season (or not, I guess Damn), funny drunken ex of hottie singer and his mini me, and of course the greatly missed Poppa, Sargent Wojohowitz, who needs praise from no man!!! People, you made something great!!! Please be proud and let me know if you find a way back to the airwaves. Damn You ABC!!!!!!!

Yours Truly,
Jared Lucas Nathanson

P.S. The Hot Wife is also funny!

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