Friday, July 07, 2006

Wow Chris Tucker and Van Damme? How neat.


Something smells.

Something smells real bad.

Chris smells it too. But 20 million buys a lot of diamond studded nose plugs don't it Chris?

If ever one doubted Brett Ratner's quality as a director, the doubt has got to vanish with this news. Yes, X3 was better than bad and less than good, but that is not his fault. No, after watching Superman Returns and X3 I'm saddened by what could have been, but I appreciate the little moments that sparkled. I will review both movies in more complex manner soon, suffice to say, both had their moments and neither was Spider-man 2. With more care and less vindictiveness, both could have been more. None of that is Brett's fault. He just showed up in the 8th inning and pitched the best game he could.

No, what really shows you the quality of the man is his main franchise. His bread and butter, where he makes the decisions, where he is king. Unfortunately his castle is a place where Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker trade one line jokes that seem recycled from the Olsen Twins during their days on Full House (You Got It Dude!) I liked Rush Hour because it felt like a cheesy Chan comedy with Tucker doing relief, but does their chemistry really deserve three movies? Of course not, so Brett had to bring something else to the pot! His secret play, his ace in the hole.

What is this portable chainsaw that he will so deftly pull out of his breast pocket?

Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Yes Jean-Claude Van Damme will be featured as the baddie in Rush Hour 3.

So if there is any doubt that Brett Ratner is the hackiest hack from Hackensack who won the plack at the annual Hacky Sack competition and exchanged it for a Big Mac, then it is time for that doubt to die!!

I remember the last time I saw Jean-Claude Van Damme in a movie. It was right before I saw Rumble In The Bronx. Watching Jackie Chan kick everyone's ass with the skill of a Bruce Lee and the presence of Chaplin, wiped all the Schwarzeneggers, Stallones and Van Dammes into the back row of the "B" movie isle at Blockbuster. As silly as that movie was, it proved that action could be Art, plus he took down a hovercraft with a Lamborghini and a serrated sword! A serrated sword! Putting Van Damme in this movie just brings it down to the level of "throw away sequel." Why not add Judd Nelson while your at it? Still, it will be sweet seeing Jackie kick his ass.

Hey Brett!!
Jackie better kick his ass good!!
I might actually check this out...
on cable.

More HERE!!

Corban my man! Corban my man! Corban my man! Get me out of this contract babee!

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