The Greatest Thing Since 1983!

Back in the day, my friends Karlan and Pete told me that they had VHS copies of the live action G.I. Joe and Transformer movies. "Yeah" Pete told me, "George Peppard plays Duke! It's awesome!"

Like a fool I believed them. It took me weeks of cornering them to get the confession that was to come. Infact, there were no live action versions of our favorite cartoons, comic and toy characters. Why would there be? We were just kids! We didn't matter and our silly cartoons were not the stuff of feature films. There would never be a Spider-man, X-Men or G.I Joe movie.

Now, I've lost touch with Pete and Karlan at the time when I most wish I could talk to them. My inner 12 year old wants to share the shock and amazement that it all happened. That as bad as they are, The Transformers has smashed head on into the stream of the popular culture. Optimus Prime will be remembered for another generation. Snake-Eyes is the baddest ninja to ever slice across the screen.

I want to talk to them! I want to see the expression on their faces. I want to know they're out there feeling the same way.

Honestly, The G.I. Joe and Transformers movies, just don't capture the love I had for those characters, so long ago, but this does and I bet a few of the people who helped create it, felt the same way. This is a very funny and star-studded little video. It's made with the same love that I had for these properties and it made me feel like it was 1983 again and it was time to collect all three precious elements to fight Cobra and build our own "M.A.S.S. Device!"

Hey Karlan, Hey Pete!
Go Joe!

The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Olivia Wilde

(Kevin Umbricht -Writer/Producer, Daniel Strange - Writer/Director )
Two forces waging endless war, and they daily waste more
But when the day is done, and they go home...
What do they do for fun?

Night falls on G.I Joe HeadquartersShipwreck just got season one of The Wonder Years (Alan Tudyk)
Doc is reading Dostoyevsky (Laz Alonso)And Snow Job's drinking beer (Zach Galifiankais)
[I heard he likes to drink quite a bit]
Snake Eyes is painting landscapes (Andreas Owald)
It makes him feel at peace
His latest is a series of sunsets on the beachAnd Scarlett lies awake and wonders (Julianne Moore)
Will Duke still love me when I'm old?I see the way he looks at Lady Jaye (Alexis Bledel, Henry Rollins)
Some day he's gonna leave me in the cold....

No Duke don’t go.
(Geoff Mann produced, arranged, recorded and performed the music)
Night falls on the Cobra Terror DromeStorm Shadow's taking out the trash (Frankie Kang)
Tomax is boosting Xamots wallet (Joey Kern x2)
He needs the extra cash
Cobra Commander loves 70's boo-gie
And he's a big fan of Three Dog Night [one is the loneliest number]
When he takes over the world
The first thing he'll do is make 'em reuniteAnd Zartan sits up late and wonders (Billy Crudup)
[I wonder, wonder who]
Who, who is the real me?
And in the end, do I really have any friends
Who love me for being Zartan
Who love me for being me?Destro! (Vinnie Jones)[Destro]Destro and the Baroness (Olivia Wilde)Destro and the Baroness
Practicing the clarinet
Destro and the Baroness
Practicing the clarinet
Practicing the clarinet
They're practicing the clarinet!
} clarinet solo {
Dr. Mindbender's talking on his ham radio (Tony Hale)His best friend is some guy he doesn't even know (Chuck Liddell)
If things could always be this way, wouldn't that be nice?
But no dice.
Cobra's got the M.A.S.S. Device

Ting..... (you know who)